Hello, and very soon, goodbye!

To the last page of the chapter of March. I was just about to finish writing my 2nd article for work when I suddenly got hit by a cold. Which would be nothing out of the ordinary for most people except for the fact that I NEVER get a cold.

Well, perhaps only 2 or 3 times in the last several years. I put a lot of this down to the fact that I always try to rest when I need to. And also that I grew up playing outside all the time, in the dirt, putting raw soil-covered potatoes from our vegetable patch in my mouth as a child.

This was all very good training for my immune system. Although, a lot of parents these days are hyper obsessed with hygiene and the elimination of all bacteria from a child’s play space. Unfortunately, that is a bad long term strategy for the child’s immune system, which needs to grow stronger through repeated exposure to pathogens. Of course, at an appropriate level.

Anyway, because of my strong immune system, I found it quite odd (and very ironic) to receive the unwanted gift of a cold at the busiest time of the month.

Alas, such is LIFE. Can’t have an amazing, energetic day every day can you?!

Wish I could. How unfair.

But catching a cold could also be a good thing sometimes.

Maybe its God’s way of telling me to slow down. Stop trying to juggle several things at once when you can barely even juggle one ball consistently.

Harsh.

Anyway, probably time for a nap. Oyasumi.

March 6th - I almost forgot I had a blog. How terrible!

I realized something about perfectionism recently. We would like to label ourselves as perfectionists because at least that carries some connotation of positiveness. But I would wager that the self-proclaimed perfectionists (including myself) are actually deluding themselves a lot of the time. Or perhaps delusion is too strong a word. But who cares, I will use it anyway.

最近、完璧主義について一つ気づいたことがある。人は自分のことを「完璧主義者」と呼びたがる。少なくともその言葉には、どこか前向きな響きがあるからだ。けれど、あえて言うなら、そう自称している人たち（もちろん俺も含めて）は、実はかなりの部分で自分自身を錯覚させているのではないかと思う。いや、「錯覚」という言葉は少し強すぎるかもしれない。でも、まあいい。あえてその言葉を使おう。

The deluded perfectionist may just be hyper-sensitive to the criticism of others and the whole laborious process of perfectionism which we engage in, if you could describe it as a process, is just a game of smoke and mirrors, a game of biding our time until we can be sure to minimize any risk of criticism until we finally make the big reveal and show to the world our creative talents.

いわゆる「完璧主義者」と呼ばれる人たちは、もしかすると単に他人からの批判に対してとても敏感なだけなのかもしれない。そして私たちが「完璧を目指すプロセス」と呼んでいるあの長くて骨の折れる作業も、実は煙と鏡のようなものなのかもしれない。つまり、自分の創造力を世に出す「その瞬間」まで、批判のリスクをできるだけ減らすための時間稼ぎのゲームのようなものだ。

Switching lanes a bit here.

少し話の流れを変えよう。

The anxiety of perfectionists, I can only imagine, has doubled, tripled, or even quadrupled (I have always wanted to use that word in a sentence, haha!) since the dawn of instant global communication, i.e social media.

完璧主義者の不安は、おそらくインスタントな世界規模のコミュニケーション、つまりSNSが登場してから、倍、いや三倍、あるいは四倍（この単語、ずっと文章で使ってみたかったんだ。笑）にも増えたのではないかと想像する。

How awfully ironic for it to be labelled as ‘social’ media when many of its partakers, how many I couldn’t say, are secretly concerned about projecting an image of themselves, indulging in self-flattery, or obsessing relentlessly on how they may curate a symbolic representation of themselves that will make themselves more popular or project an image worthy of social acceptance.

それにしても皮肉なものだ。「ソーシャル」メディアと呼ばれているにもかかわらず、多くの人が—どれくらいかは分からないけれど—自分をどう見せるかということに密かに気を取られている。自分を飾り立てたり、自己賛美に浸ったり、あるいは「社会的に受け入れられる自分」という象徴的なイメージを必死に作り上げようとしている。そんな人も少なくないのではないだろうか。

Yes, I could be thinking too much about this, but I would argue that overall, overthinking about fundamental aspects of human communication is slightly better than completely disregarding its relevance completely, being oblivious to its importance in affecting not only ourselves, but the people we are connected to and therefore the world at large.

もしかすると、俺はこのことを考えすぎているのかもしれない。
でも、人間のコミュニケーションという根本的なものについて深く考えすぎることは、それを完全に無視してしまうよりは、少なくとも少しはましだと私は思う。それは自分自身だけでなく、私たちが関わる人たち、そして広い意味で世界そのものにも影響するものだからだ。

So, yes, sometimes thinking a lot about a topic has its merits. But of course not all the time.

だから、物事についてたくさん考えることにも意味はあるですね。
もちろん、いつもそうとは限らないけれども。

Once I get into writing I tend to meander. And although the former version of Bryan would plead for forgiveness at this point, this updated version of me desires this not. The reason is coming soon. Probably.

文章を書き始めると、俺はよく話が脱線するね。笑。
昔の自分だったら、ここで「すみません」と謝っていたかもしれない。でも今の自分は、あまりそう思わない。理由はもうすぐ分かる。

But it’s all for a good cause. As an introvert, and an INFJ introvert (look that up if you don’t know), writing is not just a deeply cathartic exercise for me, but one fundamentally important to who I am as person, as a personality and as an individual existing in the wider aspect of the world.

でも、それにはちゃんと意味がある。俺は内向的な人間ですよ。そしてINFJタイプの内向型でもある（知らない人はぜひ調べてみてほしい）。俺にとって書くという行為は、単なる表現ではなく、深く心を浄化するような作業であり、自分という人間の本質とつながるための大切な行為でもある。

And here is where we loop back. Beginner writers take point, if you want to make a point, don’t just blabber on as I have here, you must find a way to make what you write relevant to the reader. In this case, you must ‘circle back’ in some fashion to the beginning (ugh, this phrase makes me puke, but it crudely, and rather perfectly, expresses what I want to say).

そしてここで、最初の話に戻る。

もし書き手として何かを伝えたいなら、ただ私のようにだらだら書くだけではいけない。読む人にとって意味のある形にしなければならない。この場合、どうにかして最初の話に「戻ってくる」必要がある。（この “circle back” という表現、正直あまり好きじゃない。だけど、言いたいことをかなり的確に表してしまうのが悔しい。）

The main reasons I didn’t update my blog for all this time, despite it being central to who I am, despite it being the thing that allows me to connect with my deeper self the most, I delayed it, almost endlessly. I put other priorities and other peoples priorities above myself. And perhaps more importantly because I made the excuse that it needs to be perfect. Otherwise, what could happen? People may judge and criticize me. And perhaps even judge me for grammar, punctuation, and all of that irrelevant bullshit. This is a blog after all, not a book for publication. Therefore, attention to detail will sometimes be sidelined in favor of simply finishing and posting.

実を言うと、このブログを長い間更新できなかった理由もそこにあった。

このブログは私にとってとても大切なものだ。自分自身と一番深くつながれる場所でもある。それなのに私は、ほとんど無限に先延ばしにしてしまっていた。他の優先事項や、他人の優先事項を、自分よりも上に置いていた。そしてもう一つ大きな理由は、「完璧でなければいけない」と思い込んでいたことだ。そうでなければどうなるのか。人に批判されるかもしれない。文法や句読点についてまで指摘されるかもしれない。

でも、これは本なんだろうか？違うんだよ。ブログなんだよ！！！！！！！
だから時には細部へのこだわりよりも、「書き終えて公開すること」を優先するべきなのだと思う。

But anyhow, something changed in me over the last year. Too much to explain in one post, but to summarize, I believe it all began when my father passed away. His death was not just of visceral importance, human mortality etc, but one of internal development. His death set in motion a series of events where I began to shed everything that did not align with who I was as a person. And that decision changed my life in the most incredible, and seemingly impossible ways. Finally, I could begin to let go of the idea of myself of needing to be perfect and to instead pick up my own internal compass again. After doing so, I have held tightly to it every day and it has guided me to a life I could have only dreamed of having. Well, of course, there is much more to the story but you will just have to wait till I get around to that.

とはいえ、この一年で私の中で何かが変わった。一つの記事では説明しきれないほど多くのことがあったけれど、きっかけの一つは父の死だったと思う。父の死は、人間の死という現実を突きつける出来事だっただけではなく、私の内面にも大きな変化をもたらした。その出来事をきっかけに、私は「自分らしくないもの」を少しずつ手放していくことになった。そしてその決断は、信じられないほど大きな形で私の人生を変えていった。私はようやく、「完璧でなければならない自分」という幻想を手放し、自分自身の内なるコンパスをもう一度手に取ることができた。そしてそれを毎日しっかり握りしめて進んできた結果、かつては夢のように思えた人生を、今は実際に生きている。もちろん、まだまだ語るべきことはたくさんある。それはまた、いずれ書こうと思う。

Alas, here I am writing again. I hope to continue, sans editing, sans re-reading/proofreading, sans the use of any A.I software (what is the point of writing a blog if you are going to use A.I?) Seriously, don’t do that if you want to retain any modicum of humanity.

ともあれ、こうしてまた書き始めた。
できればこれからは、編集も、読み返しも、校正もほとんどせず、そしてもちろんAIの力も借りずに書いていきたいと思う。（ブログを書くのにAIを使う意味ってあるんだろうか？）本当に、もし少しでも人間らしさを残しておきたいなら、それはやめた方がいいと思う。

So, what was the point I wanted to make again.

さて、最初に何を言おうとしていたんだっけ。

Well, it’s there somewhere. As long as I know I was sincerely trying to make a point, that is all that matters, I think you’ll agree.

まあ、どこかにはあるはずだ。
少なくとも私は、誠実に何かを伝えようとしていた。

それで十分じゃないだろうか。

Nanfang’ao Nantian Temple

Today, we left the bustle of Taipei behind and followed the east coast southward until we reached Nanfang’ao—a small yet vibrant fishing town tucked into the southeastern edge of Yilan County, where steep, mist-covered green mountains plunge straight into the Pacific Ocean. It’s no polished resort—not that I need my ports to be polished. Instead, it pulses with the life of a working harbor: the salty tang of the sea mingled with unfamiliar scents, the shouts of dockworkers, and clusters of tourists hunting for seafood restaurants, while rows of fishing boats rock gently in the water.

The entrance welcomes with the hue of soft purple light and the glow of rows of ceiling lanterns.

At the heart of the town stands Nantian Temple, home to the sea goddess Mazu. Her name, 媽祖, combines 媽 (mā, “mother”) and 祖 (zǔ, “ancestor”), meaning “Ancestral Mother” or “Revered Mother Ancestor.” She is venerated as a divine maternal protector—both guardian and ancestral figure—for all whose lives are bound to the ocean, from fishermen setting out before dawn to families waiting on shore for their safe return. In Japan, her closest counterpart might be Ebisu, the cheerful god of fishermen and good fortune, who is likewise celebrated in coastal towns for ensuring safe voyages and bountiful catches.

Here I catch a glimpse of a golden Mazu. A stunning depiction framed by some incredibly intricate ornamentation.

View of the harbor from the temple veranda

Yes, I can’t help make comparisons here. Temples in Taiwan feel markedly different from those in Japan—much more vibrant, more woven into the fabric of daily life—yet the underlying principle is the same: a veneration of something higher, and a place for communion either with yourself of with that lies which lies beyond the veil of the material world. 

Whether you believe in the spiritual or prefer the inspirational notion that everything in the universe arose from chance and is ultimately meaningless, there is always value in stepping outside the material world even just for five minutes. And even if it’s only for pretend. It here where you can quiet the mind, breathe in the incense, and show a recognition for belief systems that have guided mankind for thousands of years. The fact that these places still attract people clearly shows that the spirit of humankind still longs for a connection to the sacred. 

 

Small Boat, Big Imagination

Me (right) little brother and my mom circa 1988 sitting in my father’s boat.

I have always had a strong fascination and fear of the ocean. One of my earliest memories was when my father took me and my elder brother out fishing off the coast of Wales, U.K when I was 4 years old.

私は昔から、海に対して強い憧れと同時に、どこか恐ろしさを感じてきました。一番古い記憶のひとつは、4歳のとき、父と兄に連れられてイギリス・ウェールズの海岸沖へ釣りに出かけた日のことです。

After the two-hour drive to the coast and what felt like an eternity of getting all the fishing gear ready, we finally climbed into the boat. My father steered us out to a spot somewhere in the open sea where he thought we’d have a good chance of catching something.

海まで車で2時間ほどかけて走り、釣り道具をあれこれ準備して、ようやく小さなボートに乗り込みました。父は魚が釣れそうな沖合のスポットまで僕たちを連れて行ってくれました。

At first, I was so excited — it felt like a real adventure. But that feeling didn’t last long. I suddenly convinced myself that a shark would bite my line and drag me straight into the ocean. I refused to even hold the fishing rod, whining like a baby the entire time.

最初のうちはワクワクして、本当に冒険に出たみたいで楽しかったのですが、その気持ちはすぐに吹き飛んでしまいました。「もしサメが釣り糸を噛んで、自分が海に引きずり込まれたらどうしよう」と思い込んでしまったのです。僕は釣竿を握るのを頑なに拒んで、赤ん坊のようにずっと泣きべそをかいていました。

My father must have thought it was hilarious — he just laughed at me while I sulked and clung to the boat. Looking back now, it’s one of those small, precious memories I’ll always keep.

父はそんな僕の姿が可笑しかったのか、ずっと笑っていました。今思えば、何でもない出来事だけれど、大切な思い出です。

When Japan Opens the Sea

The head priest of a local shrine conducts the opening of the ocean ceremony, known as umi-biraki in Japanese.

Historically, Japan’s relationship with the sea has always been one of both gratitude and caution. The ocean provides food, livelihood, and a connection to other lands — yet its power is both immense and unpredictable. Fishermen in ancient times relied on rituals to appease the deities of the sea (umi no kamisama), seeking calm waters and plentiful catches.

古くから、日本人にとって海は、恵みをもたらす存在であると同時に、常に畏れと慎重さを必要とする相手でもありました。豊かな食や暮らしの糧を与えてくれる海は、遠い土地と人々をつなぐ道でもありますが、その力は計り知れず、時に人の想像を超えて荒れ狂います。太古の昔、漁師たちは海の神様（海の神）を鎮め、穏やかな海と豊漁を祈るために、さまざまな祈りや儀式を欠かしませんでした。

The earliest forms of the opening of the beach umi-biraki ceremony were held to purify the shoreline, offer thanks, and pray for protection from storms, strong currents, and other dangers. Communities would gather on the sand while a Shinto priest conducted a ritual purification (お祓い, oharai), making offerings of sake, rice, salt, and sometimes fish, to honor the spirits that dwell in the waves.

海開きの起源とされる最初の形は、海岸を清め、海の恵みへの感謝を捧げるとともに、嵐や潮の流れなどの災いから身を守ってもらうことを願う儀式でした。地域の人々は砂浜に集い、神主が祝詞をあげてお祓いを行い、波間に宿る神々に向けて酒や米、塩、時には魚を供えました。こうして人々は、海とともに生きるための祈りを重ねてきたのです。

Offerings of fish, fruits, vegetables and sake are presented to the deities of the sea

In modern Japan, the umi-biraki has evolved to meet contemporary life. While fewer communities depend on fishing alone, beaches are now shared spaces for swimmers, surfers, and sunseekers. Local governments and beach patrols host these ceremonies to mark the official start of the swimming season — often in early July, though the timing varies by region.

現代の日本では、海開きのかたちは時代とともに姿を変えてきました。漁業だけに生計を頼る地域は減った一方で、海辺は今や泳ぐ人、サーファー、日差しを楽しむ人々が集う、みんなの憩いの場となっています。多くの地域では、夏の海水浴シーズンの幕開けを告げるため、地元自治体やライフセーバーたちが中心となって海開きの神事を行います。地域によって時期はさまざまですが、例年7月上旬に行われることが多いです。

A local water safety instructor teaches beachgoers how to perform basic CPR.

In a world where traditions can easily slip away, this ceremony endures as a living link to the beliefs and practices that shaped Japan’s coastal communities. It reminds us that the ocean is not simply a backdrop for beach selfies or water sports — it can also be a place of wonder, danger, and deep cultural meaning.

伝統がいつしか薄れてしまいがちな現代においても、この海開きの儀式は、海辺の暮らしを支えてきた信仰や祈りの心を今に伝える生きたつながりとして受け継がれています。海はただのビーチフォトの背景やマリンスポーツの舞台ではなく、時に人を魅了し、時に危険をもたらす、深い文化的意味を宿す場所であることを、私たちに改めて思い出させてくれるのです。